Are You Really Gonna Eat That?

Even though we are health care professionals, pharmacists probably have one of the poorest diets around. It doesn't help that we don't get a meal break, so we have to be creative to select foods that can be eaten on the run.

Technically, we are not supposed to have food ''near the medications''.I think I'm probably aware enough that I am not going to get a glob of mayo on your prescription bottle.Of course it's ok to handle money and then go right back to filling prescriptions, because money is super clean!  I have tried several different strategies to get something down my throat in between scripts, but short of total parenteral nutrition (being fed a big bag of fat, calories, and vitamins through my vein), I'm not sure how to accomplish it in a healthy and nutritious manner.

Back in my early career, I could get by on snacks and candy I bought from the store where I was working. I went through a major junk food stage when I worked in a small pharmacy in a medical clinic building. We weren't all that busy, and the technician I worked with catered to the staff in the building when she placed her  candy order. One guy loved these brownies that were huge and full of chocolate chips. So it wasn't long before I was eating 2 of those a day. Then there were the SkyBars. There were 4 different sections in each bar: caramel, vanilla, peanut, and fudge. I went through about a case of those before we stopped getting them.  I was addicted to Wayne Bun Bars, especially the maple-filled. Luckily they were smaller than the ones Grandpa used to buy . He would buy them by the box and hide them in the garage so he could eat them in peace. There was a Corn Nut phase, a red licorice phase, a cheese cracker with peanut butter phase, an oreo phase, a fig newton phase, a giant cinnamon roll phase (I relapse every so often on that one),  a Big Otis Muffin phase, a honey bun phase, and a powdered sugar donut phase. Sadly, there never really was a carrot stick phase, a celery and ranch dressing phase, or an mmmm...good crispy apple phase.

My next store did not have as much of a selection. For months, I ate 2 rolls of Shock Tarts every time I worked. Then it was Boston Baked Beans. Then Pay Day Bars, one of the best and most filling lunch bars around, and healthy because it has peanuts (shurrr.... it is!). For some reason, lots of pharmacists seem to survive on the Giant Snicker Bar and 20 oz Coke lunch of champions.

When Glucerna bars came out, I bought some, because I thought they would keep my blood sugar on an even keel, thus enhancing my ability to think clearly and remain pleasant. What I didn't count on was the gas. Not a good side effect when you are working with the public!

I have tried peanut butter sandwiches (not good with pop), Lunchables, Activia Vanilla Yogurt (active cultures, sure, but I think it tastes the best), string cheese, rice cakes, potato chips, Cheerios, mixed nuts, pistachios, carrot and celery sticks, apples, and oranges. Somehow, the fruits and vegetables always come home with me in my lunch bag. They just never sound good to me when I am at work.

When my blood sugar bottoms out (I start to feel lousy, see black spots, and get a headache), I go up front and buy a coffee cake or donut, a giant Rice Krispie Treat with extra marshmallows, and these amazing little cinammon rolls that taste like the treats my Grandma used to make with left over pie dough and cinnamon and sugar. Then I wash all this sugar, fat, and dough down with an ice cold milk (2%, to save calories, of course). And I feel pretty darn good until the nausea sets in.

After I did Weight Watchers and figured out the "points"system, I started taking deli turkey on whole wheat bread, a yogurt, and two 20 oz Diet Mountain Dews (every day is a two Dew day!). This combination seems to give me enough carbs, protein, and caffeine to keep me feeling pretty decent for my 8 hour shift. I found out waiting too long to eat makes me foggy, crabby, and prone to migraines. I try to stick to this lunch, or some variation of it, but when I get bored with it, all bets are off.

I know I should drink water instead of pop, but for some reason it makes me need to pee more often than pop. I don't know if it is the sodium in the pop that causes me to retain water or if I it's just my imagination, but since running to the bathroom every 30 minutes is not a luxury I can afford, I stick to the pop. Mountain Dew is the only pop I can tolerate lukewarm (less fizzy, still tastes good). I buy the 20 oz bottles with the screw top....a veteran pharmacist told me never have an open container of liquid near a keyboard, unless I want to explain to IT the reason I need a new one.

A long time ago, sales reps for the pharmaceutical companies would treat us to lunch. The hospitals seemed to get the best food (think P and T committees, physician and nurse interractions). One time we got a tray of assorted bagels, meat and cheese, with little hollowed out red cabbages to hold the condiments. Drug companies would also sponsor CE (continuing education) programs, and we got fed pretty well. The food of choice for retail was pizza, delivered hot, fresh, and easy to bolt down between prescriptions. The food seemed to dry up about the same time everything else started to go downhill for us. I haven't had so much as a box of storebought cookies from a sales rep in years.Now all they are interested in is giving us their pitch, dropping off a bunch of pamphlets (and coupons) and getting our business card so they can prove they talked to us.

For some reason, patients never bring us treats, either. I shouldn't say never, there have been a few sweet souls who brought me cookies or cake, oh, and one Vicodin, Methadone, Soma patient who brought us cookies twice at Christmas because she forgot she already gave us some. One time an ornery pharmacist offered me a gummy bear out of the jar a patient had brought in for him. Turns out she had put them in a jar that had orignally contained jalapeno peppers. Tasty!

My fellow pharmacists are no better . Not to toot my own horn (Matthew 6:2 :'' When you give to someone in need, don't do as the hypocrites do--blowing trumpets in the synagogues and streets to call attention to their acts of charity! I tell you the truth, they have received all the reward they will ever get.''), but I have dropped off fast food and ice cream sundaes, ordered pizza with my credit card and had it delivered to them as a surprise, picked up ''parking lot chicken'', and on the rare occasion I have cooked, delivered a full meal hot, ready, and with all the condiments and sauces in disposable containers. I did it as a treat for one of my fellow sufferers in the trenches, since I know what it feels like to be starving and tired with 5 hours left to go in the day. I didn't do it often, because I didn't want anybody to think I was sweet on them or anything, but I felt their pain.   I get a cake on my birthday if I am working and lukewarm or stone cold pizza that has sat out all day, depending on my shift, and my manager is the only one who ever cared enough to even give his staff that much consideration.

So, enough of the whining. I am not starving to death by any means, and I probably wouldn't eat homemade food if you brought it (I have a touch of OCD, food snobbery, and germ phobia), but I surely would appreciate the gesture.

BP