There for the Asking...

In one of my earlier posts, I joked about Miss Ellie, the Lady Druggist on the Andy Griffith show. I grew up watching that show with my Grandma and Grandpa, back when everything was in black and white. Life back then was kind of like that, too. As a kid, my parents didn't mince words. Right was right and wrong was wrong, and they taught me the difference in no uncertain terms. It was only when I got out into the world  and started to interact with other people that I started to realize there were shades of gray. I think that is what is so troubling to me now, and why I can't make sense of the environment I live in 40 hours a week. I have a standard I have set for myself on how I practice pharmacy, and little by little my autonomy has been chipped away, until there is such a disconnect between what I believe and what I am told to do that my mind and body are rebelling.

Picture, if you will, a scene from one of those old black and white Westerns. Young Tom and his sweet young wife Susie head west in their covered wagon, full of grand ideas and dreams about what they're going to do once they reach the promised land. Things go pretty well for awhile. Land as far as the eye can see, and oh my! The stars are so bright and the air is so clean, why a man could really make something of himself out here! Then, all of a sudden, something seems amiss. The music shifts into a minor key. The horses start to panic. Dun Dun Dunnnnnnn....!!!! A rattlesnake is on the trail, why one more step and Tom would've been bit! Tom dispatches the snake with one shot, the music swells, and we all breath a sigh of relief. Whew!! That was close! But alas, art imitates life, and things start to go downhill. Literally. It's not long before the bad guys have kidnapped Susie, the Injuns have showed up, the wheels start to fall off the wagon as Tom races for his life, and the whole contraption, horses, wagon, Tom and all their wordly possessions Thelma and Louise it off the cliff and go bouncing down the slope to ruin.

If I had my way, I would take all the time in the world to help you with the medication piece of your healthcare puzzle. We would sit down in that consultation room I never use, with a computer that isn't there, and go over your medicines, how you are feeling, any questions or concerns you might have, and hey, do you want a cup of coffee, how is your wife doing? Grandkids? Kind of like they show on the commercials. Like that. In color. HD. Surround sound. Happy music in the background.

I am starving for that kind of interaction. I don't like feeling annoyed or nervous because my technician tells me there is a patient who has a question. I don't like holding up one finger, making eye contact, and telling the patient ''be with you in a minute'' when I know it is probably going to be much longer and I am only going to have a few seconds to spend with them. I don't like it when one of my long time patients comes in with tears in his eyes because he just found out his wife has terminal cancer, and I have to talk to him in the middle of complete chaos and get pulled away much too soon for either of us to express what we are feeling.

I think you and I are on the same page. It doesn't have to be like this, and we both know it. Someone has poisoned the water hole. I'm still going to give you the best I can, every day. I honestly can't do otherwise. My gut won't let me.

Happy Trails, Pardner!

BP